Chit Chat: Why Dating is hard for Ambitious Women

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Let’s face it — dating does not come easy for some of us, and half of the time it’s not our fault! I hear girls say all the time “What did I do?” “Why is dating this hard for me?” “Will I ever find Mr. Right?”. Although everyone’s problems are different, I’m here to share my experience and hopefully give insight on what I believe when it comes to dating in your 20s.

I was just on the phone with one of my best friends the other day, and she was saying how she couldn’t even imagine being married at our age (23), but she could imagine being in a committed relationship. Now, before I go any further, I’d like to go into detail about her statement (which I completely agreed with). The reason why she couldn’t see herself being married right now is because she has a lot of goals and dreams that she would like to accomplish, or at least start before starting a new life with the man of her dreams. There are a lot of women who are married in their early 20s, and there is nothing wrong with that! But there are also women who would like to fully live life before giving their hand in marriage, and there’s nothing wrong with that either.

The spike in women in business is growing tremendously! Just to make this post more informative, I’ve gathered a few stats from the National Association of Women Business Owners:
Women Owned Business in the United States

  • More than 9.1 million firms are owned by women, employing nearly 7.9 million people, and generating $1.4 trillion in sales as of 2014.
  • Women-owned firms (50% or more) account for 30% of all privately held firms and contribute 14% of employment and 11% of revenues.
  • Over the past seven years, the overall increase of 8.3 million (net) new jobs is comprised of a 9.2 million increase in employment in large, publicly traded corporations, combined with a 893,000 decline in employment among smaller, privately held companies.

Businesses Owned by Women of Color

  • 2.9 million firms are majority-owned by women of color in the U.S.
  • These firms employ 1.4 million people and generate $226 billion in revenues annually.

Million Dollar Businesses

  • One in five firms with revenue of $1 million or more is woman-owned.
  • 4.2% of all women-owned firms have revenues of 1 million or more.

I know you’re thinking, “Where is she going with this?”, but trust me I’m getting there! Personally, just like my friend, I have a lot of goals and dreams that I want to accomplish as well. I think that people often get caught up in the glamorous side of relationships and marriages, but don’t think about the hard work and time that needs to be put into it as well. It’s not all about the gorgeous ring, the “bae-cations” and the hot dates. And if that’s all you want from your relationship or marriage, then you might not be ready for that type of commitment just yet. Think about your life in a pie, and the responsibilities you have right now.

I know for me my responsibilities are: grad school, work, growing both of my blogs, being a wedding planner + all of the other business ventures I plan to tackle in the next year. With that being said, am I thinking about marriage or a committed relationship in the midst of that? OF COURSE. It is completely normal to want to be loved, but sometimes you have to listen to your mind and not your heart, and thinking realistically. Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Am I financially stable to venture into a true committed relationship?
  2. How much time am I able to give someone at this moment in time?
  3. Am I the type of person who will ver away from my goals and dreams when I’m in a relationship?
  4. Am I able to balance all of this at the moment?

If you are unsure about some of these questions, then you might want to use this time to get to know yourself and fuel your energy more towards growing within! There’s nothing wrong with being single while you’re trying to figure everything out. To be honest, you would probably rather be single, while getting yourself together, than in a relationship where your flaws might be used against you. Now, I’m not saying that you’re going to have your whole life together before meeting Mr. Right, but I am saying that you can prepare yourself with a solid foundation going in your committed relationship! When you have a solid foundation, your mindset is just different. You’re able to grow with your partner, and without your partner.

So ladies, in the meantime, don’t be afraid to be ambitious! Don’t be afraid to tackle those goals and dreams while waiting for Mr. Right. He will come when you least expect it, and guess what? You won’t have to chase him down either 🙂

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